Pandora Hacks : Saying "No"

When was the last time you ever say "No' to someone who come for help. For most persons that would be a zero, but we also have "selfish" people who did the opposite. Today we are going to talk about the power of No and its relationship with productivity.

Why people say "Yes" all the time ? 

Let's analyze why people are reluctant to say "No" to others:  


1. They want to play nice 
2. They are afraid to offend someone
3. They do not dare to challenge the authority 
4. It is in their nature 

It's clear that FEAR plays a vital role here. They are afraid that by refusing to offer assistance might damage relationships. Friends or colleague might "suddenly" leave them alone. The truth is: most people do not hold any ill feeling if you give them a proper reason. They won't step out of your social circle for being a jerk once in a while. In contrast, they will think twice before asking for your help and weight the urgency of the matter. Remember, your friends too need you and they would not simply abandon you for such petty reason. Even if were to abandon you, they are probably not  good friends also.

The Advantages 

Now let's get down to the advantages of saying "No". The most significant effect will be less people bothering you with petty problems, which they can solve by simply typing it in Google. Secondly, they will respect your time and only look for you when the task is extremely urgent. Most importantly, you will have some long uninterrupted time for yourself. Imagine if Linus Torvalds, Larry Page, Steve Jobs  and Tim Bernes Lee were reluctant to say No. The web would not exist at all, Google would not be the giant today and Iphone may not even exist. You see, chasing down your dream required tremendous amount of time and energy. If you leave your window open to nonsense, you will end up a loser. 

But saying "No' means I am selfish 

This is another bullshit I hear all the time. I am not telling you to ignore everyone's requests or lock yourself in a black box. Instead, I am asking you to use your mind to weight the importance of the tasks at hand versus those that are being thrown to you. For instance, if you were to spend your whole evening playing computer games, I guess you don't have any power to say No. You can still say No because it is your life not theirs. You may not want to hear this, sometimes you have to be selfish in order to succeed. This is the hard truth that everybody seems to deny in today's society. 

My Experience  
Recently I was up go for an event, I was reluctant to do so because they were so many important competitions around the corner such as the KDU Game Design Challenge and National Robotics Competition. Sadly, weekends are the only time I can spend long uninterrupted time to do some creative work. What Did I do ? I told a white lie to brush off the request. However, the lie was discovered and I was bombarded with all sorts of accusations. Maybe it as my fault to lie in the first place, but could I get away nicely if I had not tell the lie. The answer is "No". They were literally 20 people who were busy with their friends or tuition, that were not ask to join the event at all. What did I get ? I was told that I am dishonest, not committed and disappointing. If I am not committed, i would not have spent my time in Form 1 till Form 3 working like hell. Those people close to me know that I am extremely obsessive with my work. I will take days to plan out strategy and go through sleepless nights in order to get what I want. 

Finally I would like to quote Steve Jobs 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech: 

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking"  - Steve Jobs